Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I see more hoeing in ur future
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