i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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