I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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