Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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