he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
