We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
