Im at strip club and am horny
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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