just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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