Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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