I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
