Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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