I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
