There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
