Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
