that's an acceptable place to lick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
