I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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