i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
