You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
