Did you just see the Batmobile???
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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