I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
