I just threw up on my dentist
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
