before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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