I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
