Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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