I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
