when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
