i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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