so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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