whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
