dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
