drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
