i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
ttyl tear gas
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize