Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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