"it" just moved
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
