That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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