remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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