My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
