Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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