He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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