I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
ok first of all what the fuck
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
