I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
