im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize