Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
As shirtless as possible
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
