my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
