why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
