What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
