My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
farters have to be the big spoon...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
