Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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