____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I supernannyed him into submission
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
