good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Come see our sink grown plant.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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