this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
