Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
