I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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