Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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