his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
