considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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