Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
