Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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