im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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