Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
