But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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