as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
