He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
