True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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