nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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