To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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