Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
